What if all your daydreams came true?

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He had that James Dean smile.

If this was a Taylor Swift song that’s how I would describe him.

Something about him was just magnetic. But not only his looks. It was everything about him – the way he talked, how he stood, what he talked about. And of course, his smile. I literally could not take my eyes off of him.

And maybe I am crazy. All of my friends know – I tend to get crushes like this, it is part of my personality to get overly excited about things.

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But something about him was different. It was his soul that seemed just magnetic to me.

And then I started imagining.

What if we sat next to each other on the bus?

What if I we would get into talking and would have the most epic adventure. And we would fall in love and I would visit him on weekends. If we would get along perfectly – no awkward pauses – only laughter and deep talks and then laughter again. Instantly. No getting to know each other because it already feels like we have known each other forever.

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Bus number 50 is in a traffic jam. There is an 1:25 h delay.

My daydream stops.

I could feel he had noticed me to. But will one of us make a move?


Er hatte dieses James Dean Lächeln.

So würde ich ihn jedenfalls beschreiben, wenn das hier ein Taylor Swift Song wäre.

Er war magnetisch. Aber nicht nur sein Äußeres – es war einfach alles an ihm: wie er redete, wie er dastand, was er sagte. Und natürlich auch sein Lächeln. Ich konnte meinen Blick einfach nicht von ihm wenden.

Und vielleicht übertreibe ich. Alle meine Freunde wissen, dass ich oft Schwärmereien wie diese habe, es ist geradezu Teil meiner Persönlichkeit, mich leicht für Dinge und Menschen zu begeistern.

Aber etwas an ihm war anders. Fast so, als ob seine Aura ein Magnet wäre.

Und dann startete wieder mein Kopfkino.

Was, wenn wir im Bus nebeneinander sitzen würden?

Was, wenn wir beginnen würden miteinander zu reden und danach ein großes Abenteuer miteinander erleben würden? Und wir würden uns verlieben und ich würde ihn an Wochenenden besuchen. Was, wenn wir uns richtig gut verstehen würden – ohne komische Sprechpausen – nur gute Laune, tiefsinnige Gespräche und dann wieder Scherze und gute Stimmung. Und das von Beginn an. Keine Kennenlernphase, weil es sich ab dem ersten Moment so anfühlt, als ob wir uns schon ewig kennen würden.

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Bus Nummer 50 steckt in einem Stau fest. Er verspätet sich 1 Stunde und 25 Minuten..

Mein Tagtraum stoppt.

Ich spürte, dass er mich auch bemerkt hatte. Aber wird einer von uns den Schritt wagen?

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Farewell

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I love my small hometown in Austria, I really do. However, in the past months I just don’t feel at home here anymore. As if I wouldn’t belong here, as if I would n e e d to get out. I need new surroundings, different people around me.

It is time for me to move on. I am grateful for everything this place has taught me & for everything I’ve been able to experience here, grateful for all the people I’ve met during these few chapters of my life. But I know there is much more to learn & many more experiences left to gain out there in the world.

Here, I feel like nothing changes. Every day seems like routine to me, and I need to break out of it.

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In a few weeks, almost everything will change for me. I will move to Canada for 4 months, meet new people, see new places & visit my friends all over the world. And just when I come back to Austria, I will move to a new flat in Vienna. Most of my life will be turned upside down, and it is kind of scary to leave the room I grew up in, for good. I have spent my most important years here, forged out crazy plans, cried, laughed and loved, read my favourite books.. However, it’s the first time that I can honestly say that I am glad to leave.

I need to get out. I need a change. New surroundings, different people. And I know that something else, something bigger and greater is waiting out there. I can feel it in every bone. Parts of my heart got lost in the world, and it is time that I go and look for them. I want to see where my passions & biggest dreams take me.

I am finally ready.

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